Maternity Leave Plan

Today I presented my plan for maternity leave to my Dean. I will find out soon if it is approved. Yes, I could easily take FMLA time and stay home, but I prefer to not be so broke I can't breathe since FMLA time is not guarenteed to be paid time off.

Instead, my plan is to only be on campus a couple of hours a day in order to teach my classes and spend the rest of the day at home with the baby. This will help in several ways. First, I won't have to worry about losing three months of pay--I can use my accrued sick time to "pay" for the hours I won't be at work. With all the costs associated with adoption, and babies in general, we really need to have my full income. Secondly, this allows me to feel less like I'm abandoning my other children (my students), so I can enjoy my time home with baby even more. When I return to work, I will only have a couple of weeks of working full time before summer vacation starts and I can be home with baby 24/7.

There are many other reasons why this plan works for us and baby, my students, and for my employer. So, everyone cross their fingers that this will be approved!

In other news, hubby and I were tickled pink with joy when Birthmom asked that he be at the next sonogram appointment so we could all learn the baby's sex together!

Finally...a craft sale we can attend!

I finally received word today that Grandma and I can sell our goods at a craft fair at St. John’s Church during their Germanfest (i.e. Oktoberfest minus the beer) celebration. I was beginning to lose hope! I will be spending the next couple of weeks crocheting even more like a mad woman!

In the meantime, I am taking orders for hats, scarves and booties for infants, kids, adults. Also, I can make ponchos for girls. Prices depend on quantities and sizes (the bigger the size, the more materials and time needed). You pick the color. Free shipping on any order over $50.00.

In order: Girl’s derby hat (solid white with pink bow accent), girl’s poncho, girl’s booties (with lacy pattern trim) boy’s ski hat, boy’s booties (no trim), boy’s baseball cap. All of these are made for infant’s size, but can be made larger.

To order, e-mail me at sshyde2@comcast.net

Today's OB appointment

Today's doctor's visit didn't include a sonogram, so we are still guessing the baby's sex. Hubby and I are thrilled the baby and Birthmom are doing well, but it would be nice to know if we're having a boy or girl.

I admit, I'm a little disappointed we won't get the news for another six weeks, but I was overjoyed to hear the baby's heartbeat again.

While waiting for the doctor, Birthmom, BirthGrandma, Birthmom's friend and I were having a great time! The staff must have thought we were having one heck of a party because we were laughing so hard! I'm really glad they will all be a part of our baby's life because they are such a riot!

The concept of time...

Some days, hubby and I think January will never get here. Other days, hubby and I marvel at how soon we will bring our baby home. We no longer have any concept of time.

So for today, the 24 hours we have to wait until seeing the baby on the ultrasound screen and hearing his/her heartbeat seems like a lifetime. Tomorrow we find out the sex of the baby, and we both anxiously await the news.

I am eternally grateful to Birthmom for inviting me along to her OB appointments!

What's in a name?

When we began this journey, hubby and I agreed to come up with a name together with Birthmom. We decided awhile ago that if the baby were a girl, her middle name would be Lynn, but that was as far as we got.

Tonight, Birthmom texted me with a name idea for a boy, and after a few texts back and forth, I called to make things easier for my texting finger. After a couple of hours of laughter, contemplation, googling and compromise with Birthmom and BirthGrandma we now have names for a boy and girl.

Hopefully, we will know the baby's sex this week, and once we do, we will announce the name we have chosen together for the baby.

Our growing family

Today, I took hubby's Grandma Joyce (she's an amazing woman--truly she is my favorite person in this world!) to run some errands. Our last stop was to drop off a set of raffle tickets to Birthmom and BirthGrandma to sell. Grandma Joyce was overjoyed to meet both of them, and Grandma was tickled pink when Birthmom let her feel the baby in her tummy. Grandma is thrilled that her newest Great-Grandchild is on his or her way.

Baby is growing and moving around...as Birthmom put it, we have a soccer player on our hands! I am so thrilled that everytime I see Birthmom, she graciously lets me touch her belly to say bye to the baby when I leave. Doing so really makes me feel connected to our little one!

Inspired by birthmom's cravings...

Birthmom mentioned she was craving sweets. I was craving cookies. I was out of brown sugar to make chocolate chip cookies, and out of vegetable oil to make honey cookies. My only option was butter cake with milk chocolate frosting!

Hopefully birthmom will make it over to our place tomorrow to try a slice because it is literally melt-in-your-mouth delicious.

Our first piece of baby furniture

Friends of ours are expecting their first child just a few days after our baby is due. I was mega excited when she called to tell me that they had an extra changing table they wouldn't be using and asked if we wanted it. It's a beautiful table that is shiny white and looks gorgeous in the baby's room which has been painted a nice yellow.

I've never gotten far enough along in my pregnancies to buy anything for the baby's room, so I have to ask...is it normal to get this excited over a piece of furniture?

Regrouping

The craft fair where we were planning to kick-off our fundraising efforts has been moved to the Spring (too late for our baby who is due in January). So, we must find another craft fair asap.

In the meantime, we will begin raffling craft items online in the hopes that people will buy tickets to help us raise money to bring our bundle of joy home.

I felt a little defeated when I learned this earlier, but I've regrouped and gotten my focus back...thinking about finally being a mom is all it takes to remind me to keep moving forward!

A little heart attack tonight...

I was out with friends tonight enjoying a blues band at a local bar & grill when I noticed I missed a call from Birthmom’s mom. Since it was late, I was quite worried about what was happening, so I called back and learned they had a fire and that Birthmom had inhaled smoke. A few minutes later, I got another call that Birthmom was being taken to the ER, and my friend graciously jumped up with me and ran me over to the ER.

Birthmom looked a little worse for the wear, but seemed to be doing okay, and I was glad. I was still very worried about the baby until the nurse used the portable machine and let us hear the baby’s heartbeat. This was the first time I’ve gotten to hear the heartbeat, and my heart fluttered with joy when I got to hear how strong it was. Birthmom and baby are doing well…on their way home now to rest.

As I sat in the room with Birthmom, Birthgrandma, and Birthuncle, I realized how quickly our family has grown not just by one, but by four.

Hurry up and wait...

Now that hubby and I have rushed around like madmen to get everything in place to adopt, we suddenly feel like time has frozen. Sure, January is only 4.5 months away, but we've experienced a dizzying and nerve-wracking situation similar to finding yourself in bumper-to-bumper traffic after three hours of driving 70 m.p.h. down the highway. Just like little kids, we will probably soon be asking each other "are we there yet?"

The truth is, we never got past the "getting everything in place" stage of pregnancy before. We lost both of pregnancies before the second trimester really got underway. Yet here we are now...soon to be parents of a healthy baby who is doing well in the second trimester. We secretly count the days until he or she arrives, and we are forever grateful that our long wait to hold our child is truly almost over.

Somewhere, deep inside me, that empty spot I was so sure would never be filled has been filled beyond capacity with love and longing for January to get here, so we can bring our baby home.

I Love Lucy

When my nephew was a baby, several episodes of I Love Lucy played late each night. My sister, while up for Munchkin’s 2:00 a.m. feeding, would watch Lucy faithfully each night. Everytime she sees the show or hears the intro music, she’s flooded with memories of rocking my tiny, angelic nephew to sleep early in the morning.

I wonder what late night show will be on when I give our baby their late night feeding. Surely nothing as good as I Love Lucy plays at that time anymore. Tonight’s 2:00 a.m. line-up includes Frasier, Animal Cop’s Houston, Star Trek: TNG, and Friends. What happened to the classics?

Whatever show we end up watching, I have no doubt that seeing that show will remind me of those late nights, gently rocking my baby back to sleep.

Is this what it feels like to be a parent?

Somewhere in the back, my mind is always on that little miracle growing in his/her birthmom's tummy. Today, as I was teaching my Composition class, I noticed that in my 5 minutes of downtime while groups were working, I was daydreaming about the baby.

Now, I sit in my office, having just finished putting together a presentation for the Division Chairs, and getting started on my next project, and I can't help but notice how often my mind wanders to the baby. I wonder if the baby is okay and if Birthmom is doing better now that she's seen the doctor for her cold.

I'm not worried about the daydreaming, I just wonder is this what all parents feel during the day?

Birthmom is sick

Baby's birthmom has had a cold that has gotten bad enough that she went to the doctor today. I am worried about her because I know there's not much she can take to ease her symptoms because of the baby. I hope she feels better soon!

I am still kinda amazed at how my capacity to love has reached out to include Birthmom too. I love what she is doing for us, and I love her personality. She’s funny and bright and insanely generous and mature for her age.

I truly am looking forward to the lifelong relationship we will all share with the baby.

Falling in love already

Love truly amazes me! If my heart is already this full of love for the baby, I think it will explode when I actually get to hold him or her in January!

Call it fate?

Hubby and I have never doubted fate because of the way we met. During my second to last semester of undergrad, a friend told me about her friend, Steve, and how well we'd get along. She said the same to Steve about me. However, this friend failed to return to school the following semester to introduce us, and at that time, having a cell phone was not an option for poor college students, so we lost touch with her when her home phone was shut off.

So, the semester began, and I figured I would never have the chance to meet this random Steve who was somewhere on campus. One night, a couple of weeks into the semester, my phone rang.

Me: Hello?
Steve: Hi...is this Spring?
Me: Yes...who's this?
Steve: Do you know a girl named Mary with red hair?
Me: Yes...who's this?
Steve: I'm Steve. I think she told us about each other?
Me: Oh yeah...HI.

Steve found my number while looking through the campus phone book for another friend's number, saw the name Spring and thought "how man Spring's could there be?!?!?" And so fate began our journey through life together.

Now fate has once more stepped in to make our lives better. Just when we thought all hopes of becoming parents was lost...the moment when we literally said "so much for that," a very good friend of mine was talking to someone who wanted to know if my friend knew anyone looking to adopt. That someone was our new baby's grandmother, and after meeting her and baby's birthmom, we know now that fate has truly got plans for us!

The reason for our new blog...

So many people have been asking about our upcoming adoption, and the fundraisers we are planning, that we thought starting a new blog would be a great way to keep everyone updated.

A wonderful, kind, and very mature teenager has asked us to adopt her baby, and we are thrilled beyond belief. We have been trying for 10 years now to be parents, and we were almost ready to give up hope when we were introduced to the little miracle we plan to bring home in late January.

Okay…I’m going to be completely honest here. Hubby and I don’t exactly have the money to pay for this adoption because we exhausted our savings on fertility treatments, maxed a credit card on a previously failed adoption, and exhausted our loan possibilities on our adoption agency that is (gasp!) not handling this adoption.

Our wonderful, generous, kind friends have given us a million suggestions and offers to help, and we could not be more grateful to them for all they are doing. In October, we will be selling items at a craft fair and all the proceeds will be used to fund our adoption. When the time draws near, I will be posting pictures and taking orders for handmade items that include Christmas ornaments, dishtowels, hot pads, and coffee koozies. I might even be talked into making a few scarves and hats.

To ask what comes next really and truly humbles us because we have prided ourselves on always being able to take care of ourselves. But here we are, literally at the end of our journey, and our sources of instant income have run dry. In addition to all our crafting efforts, we have also set up a donation spot on PayPal. If you can, please send a donation our way to help bring our baby home. And if you can’t donate, please send prayers our way!

Adoption update!

Hubby and I are 110% confident this is going to happen! I’ll be going to birthmom’s next appointment, and there she’ll list me as one of the emergency contacts. She also asked me to be in the delivery room with her!

I’ve spent the last 24 hours or so running around like a madwoman looking at all of our options for fundraising. Thanks to the awesome women at our tax office and bank, we are going to set up a bank account to accept donations from anyone willing to help us bring our baby home! Also, as I mentioned before, we’ll be selling all kinds of crafts in the hopes of pulling together the money we need to fund this adoption.

I will probably update constantly about this because I am mega excited, and I’m still somewhat in shock that in just 4.5 months, I’m going to finally be a mom! We’re halfway there!!!

Explosive generosity for adoption!

I have to say that I have always known I had wonderful friends, but their response to my request for help raising funds for adoption has been amazing! A few friends have agreed to sell raffle tickets for an afghan I made, others are planning to purchase items we are making, some are donating items they are making to our craft sale, and others have agreed to sit with me during the two days of said sale!

I am even more amazed by the generosity of those who do not know me personally! The attorney in town who agreed to work out a payment plan with us has got to be the kindest man on the planet! I found an article about a woman in Eastern Illinois who has done fundraising for her own adoption which included her number. She not only accepted a call from a complete stranger, but actually talked to me for nearly an hour about fundraising, what to do, etc.

Add all this to the amazing girl who did not shy away today when I asked to touch her belly. I felt the baby move, and I was overjoyed. Correction…I felt OUR baby move, and I was overjoyed beyond belief.

In January, I’m finally going to be a Mom! My cup runneth over!

Funny how that happens!

So let’s recap the last few months…

April: Hubby and I get a loan to pay for adoption services from Catholic Charities and begin taking classes to get licensed to foster/adopt. We can’t afford infant adoption because we’ve exhausted our savings and equity on fertility treatments and a previously failed adoption. This is our last chance.

May: After beginning the whole process that requires more soul-baring than a papsmear, our Adoption worker FINALLY tells us that CC is in a lawsuit with the state of Illinois because they refuse to allow same-sex couples to adopt through their program and the state had just adopted a Civil Unions law. We continue taking the classes required of us.

June: CC assures us that we will be able to adopt through them. We are a little panicky, but we trudge forth hoping we will be parents soon.

July: CC loses its fight, all hell breaks loose, and no one can tell us what’s happening. We are getting fed up with not having answers, but plod forward with the classes we paid for because we have no other alternatives financially.

Mid-July: My uterus decides to have a massive fit, and I panic because somewhere deep inside, I thought there might be a chance of having our own child somewhere down the line.

Early August: Uterus is on the brinks again. We finish classes, get licensed, get approved by state. Our adoption worker keeps us going but can’t seem to tell us exactly what the final verdict in court means for our adoption hopes.

Mid-August: Uterus has complete breakdown…enough to send us screaming and we have to deal with incensitive dickhead doctor who basically chastises me for not having children and blames this for why I’m bleeding like a stuck pig. My regular OB/GYN recommends an IUD to control the uterus issues. Hubby and I have never wanted to miss the “chance” of a miracle, but I am out of options—either I get an IUD to regulate my uterus’s heinous expulsions or I risk anemia and having a period every 10 days.

Almost the end of August: We give up hope of having a child of our own. I schedule appointment for IUD and privately mourn another loss.

Almost the end of August (literally…the very same day): My co-worker comes bounding through the door of my office to tell me she just talked with a woman who asked if my co-worker knew anyone interested in adoption. She tells her about me, and I call to talk to the woman more. Her daughter is 16 and pregnant, and she wants to give the baby up for adoption, but she wants an open adoption (so do we!!!). We are all on the same page about what we want!

Early September: We have only one obstacle…finances. We have exhausted all loan possibilities, our savings and home equity. Funny how we literally had to hit rock bottom to find the miracle. We’re working on craft projects now to sell as fundraisers, and we’re scrambling to find an attorney who will take payments (talked to one the other day who was very sympathetic and knew some friends of mine who would vouch for us).

I beg for your prayers, thoughts, positive energy, etc. to be sent our way that we can sell enough crafts to bring this little miracle home when he or she is born in January.

So much for being a parent…again.

So Catholic Charities has lost its lawsuit with the state of Illinois. Our caseworker still hasn’t bothered to tell us what this means for our adoption hopes, and it’s been over two weeks since the judge made his decision in the case.

We have exhausted our funds on fertility treatments, a previously failed private adoption, and now this. There’s nothing left. Our hopes are diminished.

Why couldn’t my uterus just work for 9 months?

There are just no words…