It seems like forever since my last post. School has kept me super busy as I try to get all my committee work lined up to be completed while I am on maternity leave.
Baby's room is pretty much ready...we have a bassinett, changing table and some clothing and misc. items ready to go. I plan to spend the first part of Christmas break on the decor.
We meet with the adoption attorney on Nov. 7th, and on Nov. 14th, we finally get to find out if we are having a boy or a girl.
We have about 15 weeks to go until Baby Hyde arrives, and we couldn't be more thrilled!
So, back to decorating, fuundraising, and getting ready for baby!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The other side of the pain
A co-worker's daughter has been struggling with fertility for a few years now, and she just recently learned that aside from In-vitro Fertilization, there is really no hope of her becoming pregnant. In some ways, hubby and I were lucky we didn't have to get that far in our fertility treatments to achieve pregnancy. My problem was simply that I wasn't ovulating.
When our insurance finally agreed to pay for treatments, I spent three years "experimenting" with different fertility drugs before the doctor's finally found the right combination to make me ovulate. Once that happened, a few more pills and a shot each month, and I was pregnant. I lost the first baby early in the first trimester, but knowing what worked helped me to get pregnant very quickly again. The problem was that even though the drugs made my body work right to ovulate, they did nothing for helping my body through the pregnancy...I lost my second pregnancy in the second trimester.
For all the heartache and physical pain I went through, it was worth it. No, I never got to see my babies' beautiful faces, and I will never get to hold them, but I got to feel them grow and move inside me. I got to sense that wonderous feeling that comes with knowing I was having a baby.
I feel that way now even though this baby is growing in my heart, not my womb. That feeling takes away the emptiness being childless has left in my life. Even though I've been where my co-worker's daughter is right now, I could never go back completely.
Knowing what that pain feels like makes me sad because I've made it a few steps farther than she has. I've been able to live on the other side of the pain because I've felt a baby growing in my body, and now I feel a baby growing in my heart who will soon be in my arms.
I will never forget the babies I didn't get to bring home--they will never leave my heart. I will always bear the physical and emotional scars of losing them, but I will also always remember the joy their presence brought to our lives. I never thought I'd say this, but I am so amazingly lucky to have had them even though our time together was short. Yes, it is truly better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all!
So to my co-worker's daughter...I've been in your shoes...I've walked your path, and I know the struggle and grief you are going through. I pray everyday that whether your baby grows in your body or your heart, you will get to bring them home soon!
When our insurance finally agreed to pay for treatments, I spent three years "experimenting" with different fertility drugs before the doctor's finally found the right combination to make me ovulate. Once that happened, a few more pills and a shot each month, and I was pregnant. I lost the first baby early in the first trimester, but knowing what worked helped me to get pregnant very quickly again. The problem was that even though the drugs made my body work right to ovulate, they did nothing for helping my body through the pregnancy...I lost my second pregnancy in the second trimester.
For all the heartache and physical pain I went through, it was worth it. No, I never got to see my babies' beautiful faces, and I will never get to hold them, but I got to feel them grow and move inside me. I got to sense that wonderous feeling that comes with knowing I was having a baby.
I feel that way now even though this baby is growing in my heart, not my womb. That feeling takes away the emptiness being childless has left in my life. Even though I've been where my co-worker's daughter is right now, I could never go back completely.
Knowing what that pain feels like makes me sad because I've made it a few steps farther than she has. I've been able to live on the other side of the pain because I've felt a baby growing in my body, and now I feel a baby growing in my heart who will soon be in my arms.
I will never forget the babies I didn't get to bring home--they will never leave my heart. I will always bear the physical and emotional scars of losing them, but I will also always remember the joy their presence brought to our lives. I never thought I'd say this, but I am so amazingly lucky to have had them even though our time together was short. Yes, it is truly better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all!
So to my co-worker's daughter...I've been in your shoes...I've walked your path, and I know the struggle and grief you are going through. I pray everyday that whether your baby grows in your body or your heart, you will get to bring them home soon!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Ribbon Candy Ornaments for sale!
Our next fundraising items are tree ornaments. The first is our ribbon candy ornaments! They look just like the real thing and come in a variety of colors! $3.00 each. If you buy 5 or more, I’ll pay for shipping! E-mail me at sshyde2@comcast.net to order yours today!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Thank You!
Steve and I want to express our heartfelt thanks to all of you who have helped us raise money to bring our baby home! We are overwhelmed with your generosity, ordering craft items I am making, or just giving us money out of the kindness of your hearts.
We swear that we will teach our baby to be as kind, loving and generous as all of you are, and we will make sure that he or she knows that our friends, family, and even strangers helped bring him or her home to us.
Thank you...
We swear that we will teach our baby to be as kind, loving and generous as all of you are, and we will make sure that he or she knows that our friends, family, and even strangers helped bring him or her home to us.
Thank you...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Shopping and tears
Today I arrived at Wal-Mart to learn, big surprise, that my prescription was not ready yet. Rather than sit on the cold metal bench, I decided to wander around the store to see all the things I didn't need but felt compelled to buy.
For the first time in a very long time, I wandered through the infant section. My arrival there seemed like second nature, and I smiled as I saw the cute outfits, soft blankets, and beautiful furniture for babies. As I was testing out a baby swing/bouncer combo, I was suddenly struck with tears.
I have not shopped in the baby section of any store for so long because doing so broke my heart and reopened the wound at the very core of my being. Today's tears were tears of joy. I realized I wasn't nervous, pained or feeling any other negative feeling as I browsed through onesies and checked prices for baby necessities. I was just peacefully, happily shopping for my baby.
I sit and type this with tears in my eyes. Who knew a simple shopping trip could make me so happy?
For the first time in a very long time, I wandered through the infant section. My arrival there seemed like second nature, and I smiled as I saw the cute outfits, soft blankets, and beautiful furniture for babies. As I was testing out a baby swing/bouncer combo, I was suddenly struck with tears.
I have not shopped in the baby section of any store for so long because doing so broke my heart and reopened the wound at the very core of my being. Today's tears were tears of joy. I realized I wasn't nervous, pained or feeling any other negative feeling as I browsed through onesies and checked prices for baby necessities. I was just peacefully, happily shopping for my baby.
I sit and type this with tears in my eyes. Who knew a simple shopping trip could make me so happy?
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Baby's first gift!
A former student of mine came by with a gorgeous blanket she made for us to sell for our adoption fundraiser. She also surprised me with gifts for baby! I love that she brought menthol bath soap (for those sniffly days) and Dreft spray-on stain remover along with the most darling pj outfit and hilarious onesie. The most wonderful thing she gave baby was a framed story about adoption that made me tear up.
Here it is: "I was sitting in a busy behind a mother and a little girl who seemed to be in a bad mood. The mother had blond hair and hte little girl was Asian.
'You don't love me!' the little girl said angrily.
'Of course I do, honey!' the mother kissed her on the cheek. 'Why ever would you doubt that?'
'The kids at school said that because I am adopted, you can't love me like a real mother!'
The mother looked the little girl in the eyes and said,'You know there is only one difference between you being born to me and being adopted. You know what that is?'
The girl was quiet for awhile and then asked in a sulky voice, 'what?'
'Being adopted only means that instead of you growing in my tummy, you grew in my heart.'"
Baby is definately growing in our hearts...we think we're about to burst!
Here it is: "I was sitting in a busy behind a mother and a little girl who seemed to be in a bad mood. The mother had blond hair and hte little girl was Asian.
'You don't love me!' the little girl said angrily.
'Of course I do, honey!' the mother kissed her on the cheek. 'Why ever would you doubt that?'
'The kids at school said that because I am adopted, you can't love me like a real mother!'
The mother looked the little girl in the eyes and said,'You know there is only one difference between you being born to me and being adopted. You know what that is?'
The girl was quiet for awhile and then asked in a sulky voice, 'what?'
'Being adopted only means that instead of you growing in my tummy, you grew in my heart.'"
Baby is definately growing in our hearts...we think we're about to burst!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Our little soccer player...
I got to feel the baby kick tonight! I asked if baby was a boy, and he kicked. After that, everytime I called him by the name we chose for a boy, he kicked again. I couldn't help but tear up.
Unless we've got a little stinker of a girl growing, I'm going with baby's belief that he's a boy. I suppose we'll know for sure in a month.
Unless we've got a little stinker of a girl growing, I'm going with baby's belief that he's a boy. I suppose we'll know for sure in a month.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Happy Birthday to Birthmom!
Today is Birthmom's birthday, and we can't help but wish we could give her an amazing gift. Unfortunately, we have to be very careful about this sort of thing because the State of Illinois doesn't want there to be any situation where we look like we're "buying" the baby.
This seems ridiculous to us because Birthmom has become a friend, a family member, and someone very important in our lives. Surely, it's only natural that we'd want to give her something special on her special day. On the other hand, I can see the state's point...I'm sadly confident there are situations where people have "bought" babies.
Even if we could give Birthmom a gift, nothing in the world could match the precious gift she is giving to us. If gratitude had monetary value, then Birthmom would be insanely wealthy.
So, to Birthmom--we hope your birthday is as wonderful and amazing as you are! We look forward to your next birthday when all three of us can celebrate together with you!
This seems ridiculous to us because Birthmom has become a friend, a family member, and someone very important in our lives. Surely, it's only natural that we'd want to give her something special on her special day. On the other hand, I can see the state's point...I'm sadly confident there are situations where people have "bought" babies.
Even if we could give Birthmom a gift, nothing in the world could match the precious gift she is giving to us. If gratitude had monetary value, then Birthmom would be insanely wealthy.
So, to Birthmom--we hope your birthday is as wonderful and amazing as you are! We look forward to your next birthday when all three of us can celebrate together with you!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Growing love...
As baby grows rapidly in Birthmom's tummy, he or she is growing just as fast in our hearts. As I sit quietly on the couch, getting ready to crochet another set of booties, my mind wanders to baby. In just four months, baby will be coming home with us, and we will rock him or her to sleep in the once empty room we feared would never be more than an office.
Each day, we fall a little more in love even though we think our hearts could not possibily be fuller. While baby is safe in Birthmom's tummy, he or she is also forever safe in our hearts.
If there is one thing this baby will never lack, it is love. Baby's Birthmom, uncle & grandma, our families and we have so much love for him or her already, and that love grows strong each day, and will grow stronger each day for the rest of our lives together.
Each day, we fall a little more in love even though we think our hearts could not possibily be fuller. While baby is safe in Birthmom's tummy, he or she is also forever safe in our hearts.
If there is one thing this baby will never lack, it is love. Baby's Birthmom, uncle & grandma, our families and we have so much love for him or her already, and that love grows strong each day, and will grow stronger each day for the rest of our lives together.
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